The 10 Commandments of Island Vibe

October 20, 2015

Island Vibe; the one time of year when Stradbroke Island is inundated with the environmentally conscious, reggae sounds of Jamaica, and we can’t get enough of it. There are however a number of things to keep in mind before attending, and before you get your dreadlocks in a knot (get it? HA) over some popious real estate blog telling you what to do, these are guidelines only (but highly recommended because I’m a woman and I know everything).

1. First things first; Slip, Slop, Slap.

Sunscreen should be your daily necessity regardless but even more so at Island Vibe. Keep in mind, much like Splendour in the Grass, Blues Fest and other Byron Bayesque 72 hour festivals; Island Vibe is a marathon, not a sprint. You need that precious alabaster skin to last three, catch that- THREE, whole days under our Straddie rays’ so be wise, sunscreen-ize.

2. Don’t wear WHITE

I’ll just repeat that incase you suffer stubbornfashionitus (It’s an awful affliction), DO NOT WEAR WHITE.

White clothing has this unusual universal effect to attract all types of non-white substances and particles. Incase you haven’t realised, Island Vibe is held OUTSIDE which makes white the most inappropriate of all choices. Think of Island Vibe as a wedding… White = NO.

Anybody who’s anybody will also be practising their fire twirling skills

3. BYO Loo Paper

It only takes one music festival to remove your novice status and you know you’ve truly learnt your lesson when you start bringing your own butt wipes along. Alas, Island Vibe is no different to any other latrinely challenged celebration of music. If you listen to only one piece of my advice let this be it. You can thank me later.

4. Starve Yourself

Unlike the extremely unsafe and shallow motivations you’re probably suspecting me of having I’m actually saying this due to storage. There is actually SO MUCH amazing food at Island Vibe that you’re gunna wish you haven’t eaten in months, just so you can slowly enjoy the smorgasbord before you. Take it from me, this three-day degustation is not for the faint stomached so unless it’s Friday the 30th of October, put down that chip! Right now! That’s half a chip you can swap for a Dutch Pancake on Saturday #yourewelcome.

5. Walk

You need to come to the terms with the fact that you will have to walk EVERYWHERE. Traffic is the least of your worries this weekend, strict parking rules will apply to every available piece of land in, around and opposite the festival. The Bowls Club will be placing 1 hour limits on parking, Allure Resort will tow you unless you have a permit displayed and Tillers has about 3 x 15 minute car spots to its name so unless you’re prepared to pay a hefty towing fee I recommend you walk. Most places will have a courtesy bus however I would call the venues prior as they may not be running all day.

6. There’s booze this year!

Unlike the last two years, Island Vibe has decided to allow a cocktail bar for this year’s festivities (obviously nothing to do with the fact that we all spent majority of the festival at the bowls club last year).

This cocktail bar is however, a strict over 18’s area only and no alcohol is to be taken from this area into the festival (how scandalous)! If you were still set on having an evening sponsored by Bundy, the Bowls Club will be hosting live music and bowls, DUH, all weekend long and thanks to the pass outs rule at Island Vibe, you can come and go as often as you please.

7. Police are EVERYWHERE

A nice Segway from the above point, by the time you get to Island Vibe, you’ve probably already noticed the amount of police around. Which means, if you are doing anything untoward, I can almost guarantee you will get caught. Keep in mind there are children present all day and a very heavy police presence. So be a dear, and don’t carry on like a complete doughnut head. Ta.

8. Leave the hand sanitizer at home

This is no place for your handy bottle of physics-defying Dettol. Embrace the filth, get some smud (sand/mud) between your toes and if you’re feeling really wild don’t shower ’til Sunday night*.

*much the same logic as ‘why make the bed when your just going to sleep in it tonight?’ Why Shower off each day’s filth when you’re probably just going to get filthier and filthier each day??

9. Don’t invest in costly footwear

Speaking of the above point, I wouldn’t be wearing my favourite pair of Louboutin’s to Island Vibe. For one, they’re white. And two, well they are 12 inches high and worth $1200. Ok, so bad example but; you get the idea. Shoes are only going to get filthy and/or disposed of so don’t wear any of your favourites. In fact, I would recommend investing in the cheapest ones you can find. That way, when the post-Island-Vibe depression sinks in, you won’t have to mourn the loss of your shoes along with a headache and your dignity.

10. Don’t go swimming at night.

This may be an obvious point however it seems, judging by past years, it still needs to be said. Do not go swimming at night! When I first moved here I was often tempted, after a hot summers night, to go for a dip and noticed that no locals ever wanted to join my evening aquatic expedition. Why? I asked myself. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT STUPID. Please don’t go anywhere near the water if it is dark or if you have had a few drinks, and especially if your situation falls into both categories.

So in summary, don’t wear white, pack sunscreen and toilet paper, don’t even think about smuggling alcohol in, wear cheap shoes (or none), don’t bring the car and get ready to eat your body weight in amazing food.

This has been a public service announcement, from a girl who loves white, carries hand sanitizer everywhere and refuses to wee in the bushes. You’re welcome.